There's one thing that's absolutely essential in order to get results with sales.
That vital element is called rapport.
I know that in some languages there is no translation for rapport, so for our purposes, you can think of rapport as...
"A close and harmonious relationship in which two or more people understand each other's feelings and ideas, and can communicate well."
It's often said that with rapport, anything is possible.
But without rapport nothing can be achieved.
And it's all too easy to make a mistake... when you don't have the proper guidance.
Here are the 6 most common mistakes made by sales people that I have seen...
Rapport Mistake #1
The first mistake is trying to be too "nice" to people.
Why is this a problem I hear you ask? It is because sometimes people are nice at the expense of the real message that needs to be communicated.
Rapport then actually breaks down.
As an example, let's consider a school teacher who wants to be nice to their pupils.
They may let them get away with anything they want.
Bit by bit, the teacher loses respect and the pupils stop paying them any attention.
The end result is that it's all gone horribly wrong.
So to avoid this...
...remain professional and be nice only to the extent that it's not interfering with the process of communicating your message about your feelings and ideas with the other person.
Rapport Mistake #2
The second mistake sales people make is that of trying too hard.
The problem with this is that it makes you come across as a little desperate and you trigger what is known as "The Law Of Reversed Effect".
This law states "The harder you try to do something, the more likely it is you'll fail".
Now the way around this is to follow the simple rapport building approach set out for you in the Advanced Sales Development System and also in “Take The Luck Out of Selling...”
Be aware of the things you need to do, relax and "get out of the way" to allow your unconscious mind to make things happen.
Rapport Mistake #3
This next mistake is linked to the previous one. It is wanting something from someone else, too much.
You've probably had the experience of being in a store and talking with a salesperson who is a little too pushy.
They want you to buy too much.
They want you to like them too much.
Because they're moving too quickly and because they want something from you, you begin to back off.
Now the solution is something called "Fractionating Rapport".
This involves building some rapport, then backing off a little.
Then build a little more rapport and back off again.
This way you'll avoid being seen as "needy" and still be able to build rapport surprisingly quickly.
Rapport Mistake #4
Mistake #4 is a lack of genuine interest.
A lot of communication between people actually happens on a non-verbal, even unconscious, level.
Because of this, it's hard to fake being interested. So you need to be able to develop a state of genuine curiosity.
If you're thinking "I'm bored, I'm disinterested, I don't want to know any more", the other person will most likely respond to your signals by shutting down or getting annoyed or just losing interest in the conversation.
The solution is straightforward.
Simply have a high, unconditional respect for the other person, and be genuinely curious about them and what you can do to help them.
That's probably a good way to view people anyway.
Rapport Mistake #5
This might sound a little odd, but it's playing the wrong role in a relationship.
When two people interact, status is involved.
Now, often people will be of equal status.
But in many cases one person will be a higher status and the other a lower status.
When I talk about status, this is not a value judgment.
It's a role that's being played.
For example, with a teacher and a student the teacher needs to have the higher status in order to teach effectively.
You can probably see that a person's status will vary, depending on the circumstances.
Problems can arise for you as a sales person, however, when you come across someone who is inflexible and they can only relate to someone in a particular status.
So be flexible in your communication.
Sometimes you'll play the underdog.
Sometimes you need to play the equal.
And sometimes you'll be the charismatic or authority figure that leads the way forward.
Rapport Mistake #6
This final mistake is something few people ever realise.
It is, understanding the difference between
"Deep Rapport"
and "Wide Rapport".
Deep rapport comes about when you have a shared experience with someone. Sales people often refer to this as common ground. It is usually over used!!
Now, this can be very powerful.
But problems may happen if this rapport is very specific to a particular situation or context.
If that's the case, when you see the other person outside that situation, it can be awkward.
It's out of context and somehow feels wrong or unusual.
The solution is to create what is called "Wide Rapport".
This is where you build a connection with someone with different experiences in different environments.
This can take time of course.
One way to speed up the process is to use stories covering a range of topics.
This way the other person gets a sense of your entire personality and gets comfortable with you in a range of different circumstances.
That concludes the 6 most common rapport mistakes.
Now you have some simple ways to avoid problems and can start building rapport with more people, more effectively.
And your results with selling will improve greatly as a result.
That vital element is called rapport.
I know that in some languages there is no translation for rapport, so for our purposes, you can think of rapport as...
"A close and harmonious relationship in which two or more people understand each other's feelings and ideas, and can communicate well."
It's often said that with rapport, anything is possible.
But without rapport nothing can be achieved.
And it's all too easy to make a mistake... when you don't have the proper guidance.
Here are the 6 most common mistakes made by sales people that I have seen...
Rapport Mistake #1
The first mistake is trying to be too "nice" to people.
Why is this a problem I hear you ask? It is because sometimes people are nice at the expense of the real message that needs to be communicated.
Rapport then actually breaks down.
As an example, let's consider a school teacher who wants to be nice to their pupils.
They may let them get away with anything they want.
Bit by bit, the teacher loses respect and the pupils stop paying them any attention.
The end result is that it's all gone horribly wrong.
So to avoid this...
...remain professional and be nice only to the extent that it's not interfering with the process of communicating your message about your feelings and ideas with the other person.
Rapport Mistake #2
The second mistake sales people make is that of trying too hard.
The problem with this is that it makes you come across as a little desperate and you trigger what is known as "The Law Of Reversed Effect".
This law states "The harder you try to do something, the more likely it is you'll fail".
Now the way around this is to follow the simple rapport building approach set out for you in the Advanced Sales Development System and also in “Take The Luck Out of Selling...”
Be aware of the things you need to do, relax and "get out of the way" to allow your unconscious mind to make things happen.
Rapport Mistake #3
This next mistake is linked to the previous one. It is wanting something from someone else, too much.
You've probably had the experience of being in a store and talking with a salesperson who is a little too pushy.
They want you to buy too much.
They want you to like them too much.
Because they're moving too quickly and because they want something from you, you begin to back off.
Now the solution is something called "Fractionating Rapport".
This involves building some rapport, then backing off a little.
Then build a little more rapport and back off again.
This way you'll avoid being seen as "needy" and still be able to build rapport surprisingly quickly.
Rapport Mistake #4
Mistake #4 is a lack of genuine interest.
A lot of communication between people actually happens on a non-verbal, even unconscious, level.
Because of this, it's hard to fake being interested. So you need to be able to develop a state of genuine curiosity.
If you're thinking "I'm bored, I'm disinterested, I don't want to know any more", the other person will most likely respond to your signals by shutting down or getting annoyed or just losing interest in the conversation.
The solution is straightforward.
Simply have a high, unconditional respect for the other person, and be genuinely curious about them and what you can do to help them.
That's probably a good way to view people anyway.
Rapport Mistake #5
This might sound a little odd, but it's playing the wrong role in a relationship.
When two people interact, status is involved.
Now, often people will be of equal status.
But in many cases one person will be a higher status and the other a lower status.
When I talk about status, this is not a value judgment.
It's a role that's being played.
For example, with a teacher and a student the teacher needs to have the higher status in order to teach effectively.
You can probably see that a person's status will vary, depending on the circumstances.
Problems can arise for you as a sales person, however, when you come across someone who is inflexible and they can only relate to someone in a particular status.
So be flexible in your communication.
Sometimes you'll play the underdog.
Sometimes you need to play the equal.
And sometimes you'll be the charismatic or authority figure that leads the way forward.
Rapport Mistake #6
This final mistake is something few people ever realise.
It is, understanding the difference between
"Deep Rapport"
and "Wide Rapport".
Deep rapport comes about when you have a shared experience with someone. Sales people often refer to this as common ground. It is usually over used!!
Now, this can be very powerful.
But problems may happen if this rapport is very specific to a particular situation or context.
If that's the case, when you see the other person outside that situation, it can be awkward.
It's out of context and somehow feels wrong or unusual.
The solution is to create what is called "Wide Rapport".
This is where you build a connection with someone with different experiences in different environments.
This can take time of course.
One way to speed up the process is to use stories covering a range of topics.
This way the other person gets a sense of your entire personality and gets comfortable with you in a range of different circumstances.
That concludes the 6 most common rapport mistakes.
Now you have some simple ways to avoid problems and can start building rapport with more people, more effectively.
And your results with selling will improve greatly as a result.
